no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
