I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
