she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
