He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
