i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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