There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
