So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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