Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
