I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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