what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
