And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
