What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
