It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
