I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His nipple licking is glorious
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