We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
