Pappa wants mamma naked
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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