Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
