opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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