yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We got so high we made milksteak
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
