I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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