So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
