I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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