the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
