Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
