dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
