I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
