lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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