i don't like sucking hair
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
