If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
