my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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