It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize