If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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