I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
