trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
