i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize