hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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