we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
