We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
