yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
