All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
