This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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