I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
