The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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