You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
