And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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