Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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