the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
