O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize