At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
