remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
