He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
