My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
