you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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