i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
