totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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