I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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