evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
