Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
