just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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