No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
