Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
