every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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