It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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