he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
