Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
