I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize