if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
