lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
