that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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