He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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