im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize