this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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