We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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