thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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