Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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