But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
