Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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